Ambiguous Loss: What It Is, and The Path Towards Healing

Every person on this planet will experience loss in some form. Loss comes in many different forms; the death of a loved one, a career change, a relationship ending or changing, leaving school or our home. A lesser talked-about form of loss is called ambiguous loss. The term “ambiguous loss”, coined by Pauline Boss, “is different from ordinary loss in that there is no verification of death or no certainty that the person will come back or return to the way they used to be” (Boss, 2025). Furthermore, Boss describes two different sub-types of ambiguous loss: type one, which happens when a loved one is physically missing or bodily gone (common examples are divorce, adoption, loss of physical contact with family and friends), and type two, which happens when a loved one is psychologically absent - emotionally or cognitively gone or missing (common examples are addiction, dementia, and depression) (Boss, 2025). Ambiguous loss creates a unique emotional impact, as there is often a lack of certainty, clarity, and closure, which can make it incredibly difficult to heal and move forward. 

Despite the challenges of overcoming ambiguous loss, there are ways to start the healing process. Firstly, acknowledging the depth of the loss and acknowledging all of the ways your life has changed as a result of this is an important step in validating yourself and your emotions. Additionally, using mindfulness techniques to slow down and observe your thoughts and feelings about the situation without judgment can be an effective way to help us process some of what is happening. Learning to cope with the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings from ambiguous loss is understandably challenging. Being aware of those discomforting thoughts without getting overly attached to them helps reduce their power.

Lastly, individual or group therapy can be incredibly supportive for those experiencing ambiguous loss. Individual therapy can provide a safe space to explore the different feelings and work towards healing, however that may look for you. Groups for specific kinds of loss, such as divorce or for the family and friends of missing persons, can be a source of comfort and support, and will help you feel less alone within your experience. Although ambiguous loss can be incredibly challenging and painful to navigate, having the right tools and supports in place can make the process more manageable and help foster healing.

References:

Boss, P. (2025). Home | Ambiguous Loss. Ambiguousloss.com. https://ambiguousloss.com/