Honoring Father’s Day In All Its Complexity

Father’s Day can be deeply meaningful for many, but not in the same way for everyone. This blog post is intended to offer a space to acknowledge the wide range of emotions this day might bring up, especially those that don’t always get named in the more mainstream or celebratory narratives of Father’s Day.

Traditionally, fathers have been viewed as protectors, providers, disciplinarians, and decision-makers within families and communities. But fatherhood, like so many aspects of family life, is evolving. Shifts in gender roles and cultural movements, like the Women’s Rights Movement, have helped expand the role of fathers beyond just being the head-of-household. Many dads today are stepping into more active caregiving roles, offering emotional support, and sharing the everyday responsibilities of parenting.

For some, Father’s Day may feel like a natural time to celebrate and express gratitude for a loving and supportive father or father figure. For others, the day may stir up grief, distance, or more complicated emotions, and that’s okay, too. For those whose fathers have passed, or who are estranged from their fathers, Father’s Day can be grief-filled, and the sense of loss can be experienced very deeply on this day. Additionally, many people have physically absent, emotionally absent, abusive, or inconsistent fathers, and the day is a painful reminder of past experiences or what could have been. 

If you are struggling with complicated feelings on Father’s Day, there are ways to support and acknowledge those emotions. If you're grieving, consider lighting a candle, journaling, or sharing memories with someone you trust. If you're estranged, it’s okay to set boundaries around conversations or limit your time on social media. If you’re feeling a mix of emotions, such as joy, sadness, and anger, know that it’s normal for those to coexist. You may want to reflect on what "fathering" means to you, and how you offer it to yourself or others. And if you’d like to honor a chosen father figure, a simple message or small gesture can go a long way.